Category: forgiveness

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Release from Guilt

Pastor Chris,

I got born again some months back. Since then I’ve been so much into Christ. I study and I pray. How do I get back up after I made a mistake by making love? How do I release myself of the guilt? I need your advice please.

Stephanie

ANSWER

Dear Stephanie,

The fact that you are feeling guilt is a good thing. This is the conviction that comes from God’s Holy Spirit. God’s conviction is designed to draw us back to Him. We hurt ourselves and others when we fall. We also hurt God.

The Bible says in 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” To confess is to agree with God that what you did was wrong and violated His best for you. When you sincerely confess your sin to God, His promise is that He will forgive that sin. When God forgives, He purifies us and the stain of our sin is washed away.

Once you have confessed your sin it is also important to forgive yourself. This is not to simply excuse yourself as if the sin doesn’t matter. Sin always matters. However, forgiving yourself means that you accept the fact that God has forgiven you and removed your sin from you as far as the “east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12). What a joy-filled thought!

Forgiving yourself is also important because the enemy of your soul, the devil, wants to keep you in bondage to your failure. If you are consumed by your failure you will be of no use to God in service to Him. How much more wonderful it is to accept God’s forgiveness and move forward by living for His glory.

Remember what Jesus said to a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery, “Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:10-11).

Let me recommend a book to you by Jay Carty. It is titled Counter Attack: Taking Back Ground Lost to Sin. You will find additional insights on practical Christian living in this book.

Sincerely,

Pastor Chris

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Question About God's Forgiveness

Would God forgive being lost and sinning for more than 10 years particularly sins of pornography, masturbation and homosexual acts? If you ask for forgiveness and a change of heart? I admit being blinded from the truth which is the bible. It hurts deep inside how much I’ve committed abominations to him. I would just to spend the rest of my life fighting temptation, treating brothers and sisters, friends and family with respect and love…and especially come back to GOD and place trust in Jesus everyday and praying always

~ Jericho

Answer

Jericho,

God is not only willing to forgive all sin, He will clean us up too (1 John 1:9). The story Jesus told about the prodigal son is a picture of our Heavenly Father and His willingness to take us back (see Luke 15:11-24).

Do not wait! Hurry home to Jesus!

~ Pastor Chris

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Will Jesus forgive us for having an abortion?

Will my wife and I goto hell for getting an abortion and when Jesus forgive us? We just had one baby and she 6 months she is very sweet and beautiful couldn’t ask for a better baby. The reason we got the abortion is bc we short on money and we want to keep our 6 month old with the little this we get.

~ Vern

 

ANSWER

 

Vern,

 

Abortion is murder and is therefore sin. However, it is not the unpardonable sin. Jesus said that there is only one sin that will never be forgiven and that sin is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (Mark 3:28-30).

 

Jesus will forgive you if you sincerely ask Him to do so. His death on the cross paid the price for our sin.

 

So, what are you to do? You and your wife must come before God in true contrition and repentance. That is what King David did after he sinned. Psalm 51 records David’s prayer of confession to God. Open your Bible to that psalm and allow its words to help you express your hearts to God. Follow that time of prayer by reading 1 John 1:9.

 

Jesus exhorted the woman caught in adultery with these words, “Then neither do I condemn you…Go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11, NIV). Follow Jesus and talk to Him before making your decisions.

 

I want to encourage you to get the book Abortion: Abortion: A Rational Look at An Emotional Issue. The book contains an excellent discussion of all sides of the abortion issue.

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Should I Tell A Potential Girlfriend About My Past?

Dear Pastor,

Im in need of some serious advise!! Can u please help?

I’m a single 28 year old man. I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’m a christian man who was brought up in a christian home.

I have committed a sin with guilt and shame that consumes me.

During my drinking days, on four separate occasions, I got very,very drunk, and called an escort service. I would never even think to do this, but for some reason it happened. The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach! I cant look at myself in the mirror. I know I am forgiven by Gods grace, which I am eternally grateful!

I would die if anyone found out my sin!! My question is, do I need to tell a potential girl friend or wife this part of my past? The thought of it kills me!

~Anonymous

 

Dear Anonymous,

From the tone of your email I can tell that you have genuine remorse. This is good. We can thank God for 1 John 1:9! You are right, God forgives when we come to Him in sincere repentance.

When you are first meeting other people you do not need to tell them everything about your past. This is true with first dates, too. It is not good to share everything about ourselves indiscriminately. It is a good “rule of thumb” to only share the intimate details of your life with a very few trusted friends. Most people cannot be trusted with intimacies.

It is a different situation when you find someone you want to marry. At some point as the relationship develops (before you get engaged) you should tell your fiancee the truth without going into all of the ugly details. You might say something like this: “You already know that I am not perfect. I have made some mistakes in my past. I took all of that to God, confessed it, and turned from it. The Lord has forgiven me and I have had to learn how to forgive myself. I want you to know that I love you and that I do not want to hurt you. I do not want you to discover something about my past from someone else. Therefore you need to know that I am a recovering alcoholic. When I was drunk I did some things that go against my Christian values. That is who I was. It is not who I am now. I am learning to walk in the Spirit of Christ. He gives me strength to follow Him and serve Him each day. I pray that you will forgive me for my past sins just as Jesus has forgiven me.”

If the lady cannot forgive you for your past then you do not have a relationship that will go the distance. If she can forgive you then she still needs to know so that she can be aware of those places where the devil will try to trip you up and lead you into sin. She can help be part of God’s defense for you against the enemy and the flesh.

~Pastor Chris

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I have a question about reconciliation with in-laws?

Pastor Chris,
   
I have a question about reconciliation.  My wife came from a home that she claims was spiritually, emotionally, and physically abusive.  Her parents, like us, profess Christ.  We actually have gotten along with them in the past even though these problems have always been near the surface.  But about a year and a half ago, my wife was meeting with one of our church elder’s wife (who is a counselor) about some difficulties she was having with her mom and establishing boundaries with her which concerned our children.  Our kids were telling us disturbing things that was occurring in their home (ie. the two older children were split up and forced to sleep with her parents who were sleeping apart from one another and they were fighting in front of our kids) The elder’s wife informed my wife about some things we didn’t know: her parents were going through severe marital problems and her father had a severe pornography addiction.  They were at that time under the care of the church.  The elder’s wife encouraged my wife to be protective over our children when it came to their home. 
 
Base on this, my wife and I implemented a policy that our 6, 5, and 2 year old children could not go to their home alone with this issue going on.  We told them that they could come to our house or we would accompany them at their house, but there would be no more over night stays and no alone time until we felt it was safe.  They then went to the senior pastor of our church to complain and elicited his help in undoing this boundary.  I tried to communicate with the senior pastor that there were a lot of issues here that he was not privileged to and that this is a sure land mine, but he got involved none the less and attempted to use his authority to undo our boundary.  My wife confessed shortly after this that she remembers her father abusing her sexually when she was a little girl. 
 
Eventually, this boundary became a totally broken relationship.  My wife tried to follow the Matthew 18 model and eventually confronted both of them both in a closed door meeting with the senior pastor, two other pastors and an elder.  But this confrontation did not heal the division and there was not any steps made on her parents part towards reconciliation.  They basically deny practically everything my wife confronted them on and they would like to argue perspectives which is not going anywhere.  The church is at a loss on how to fix this.  There is so much dysfunction in this relationship and so much I didn’t even share here.  We actually just left the denomination to escape this mess with her parents because they were insisting on church authority to be used against her.  They have a very strong patriarchal ideas.  And her dad works as the church’s financial officer.  I want to be a peace maker in this situation, but I am not sure how to do that or even if I should.       
 
~ Darren


Darren,

The Bible says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).  You have made good faith efforts to reconcile with your in-laws.  Some people will not reconcile.  Some people will work to have everything go their way regardless of what anyone else thinks or what the Bible says.  You must protect your wife and children.  You cannot knowingly put your children into harms way.  Keep the boundaries in place.

If you want more information about reconciliation get the book The Peacemaker by Ken Sande.  It is the best book I know of on the subject.

~ Pastor Chris

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Will a person that is saved, had accepted Jesus, go to hell or heaven if the take their own life?

Pastor Chris,
Will a person that is saved, had accepted Jesus, go to hell or heaven if the take their own life?

— Jimmy


Jimmy,
The question of suicide is painful because it hurts so many people. It is murder. Therefore God says not to do it (Exodus 20:13).

That being said, suicide is not the unpardonable sin (Mark 3:28-30). Therefore it can be forgiven.

It is possible for a Christian to be so discouraged, blue, and depressed that he can lose perspective and in a moment of weakness commit the sin of suicide. A true believer committing this sin will go to heaven but will not fulfill his purpose here on the earth and therefore foregoes many of the rewards in heaven that might have been his.

— Pastor Chris