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Does God Still Love Me Even If I Am Overweight?

Dear Pastor,

Does God love me even if I am overweight?…I mean I am not like a walking planet I am just big built and have a little extra fat in places very noticeable. I am hated by “cultural” terms but the only real thing I care about is if God still loves me no matter what. Only then can I really, really be comfortable with myself. I do hope you will message me back and give me your words.

~Randi

 

 

Dear Randi,

Yes, God loves you! He loves you so much that He sent His only Son to this earth to die for you (John 3:16; Romans 5:8). The culture in which we live is selfish and has positioned itself against Christ. As followers of Jesus, we listen to Him and not to the world. His love is perfect!

 ~Pastor Chris

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Should I Tell A Potential Girlfriend About My Past?

Dear Pastor,

Im in need of some serious advise!! Can u please help?

I’m a single 28 year old man. I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’m a christian man who was brought up in a christian home.

I have committed a sin with guilt and shame that consumes me.

During my drinking days, on four separate occasions, I got very,very drunk, and called an escort service. I would never even think to do this, but for some reason it happened. The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach! I cant look at myself in the mirror. I know I am forgiven by Gods grace, which I am eternally grateful!

I would die if anyone found out my sin!! My question is, do I need to tell a potential girl friend or wife this part of my past? The thought of it kills me!

~Anonymous

 

Dear Anonymous,

From the tone of your email I can tell that you have genuine remorse. This is good. We can thank God for 1 John 1:9! You are right, God forgives when we come to Him in sincere repentance.

When you are first meeting other people you do not need to tell them everything about your past. This is true with first dates, too. It is not good to share everything about ourselves indiscriminately. It is a good “rule of thumb” to only share the intimate details of your life with a very few trusted friends. Most people cannot be trusted with intimacies.

It is a different situation when you find someone you want to marry. At some point as the relationship develops (before you get engaged) you should tell your fiancee the truth without going into all of the ugly details. You might say something like this: “You already know that I am not perfect. I have made some mistakes in my past. I took all of that to God, confessed it, and turned from it. The Lord has forgiven me and I have had to learn how to forgive myself. I want you to know that I love you and that I do not want to hurt you. I do not want you to discover something about my past from someone else. Therefore you need to know that I am a recovering alcoholic. When I was drunk I did some things that go against my Christian values. That is who I was. It is not who I am now. I am learning to walk in the Spirit of Christ. He gives me strength to follow Him and serve Him each day. I pray that you will forgive me for my past sins just as Jesus has forgiven me.”

If the lady cannot forgive you for your past then you do not have a relationship that will go the distance. If she can forgive you then she still needs to know so that she can be aware of those places where the devil will try to trip you up and lead you into sin. She can help be part of God’s defense for you against the enemy and the flesh.

~Pastor Chris

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How Do You Go About The Discipleship Process?

Dear Pastor Chris,

Could you please answer 3 questions for an assignment I have due?

 a. How do you go about the discipleship process?

b. What are key elements that you think are necessary to the discipleship process?

c. Is there anything you would change about the way you do discipleship in your church?

~ Allisa 

 

Dear Allisa,

Jesus gave us the best example of the discipleship process. He preached to crowds but spent time with twelve individuals. Out of the twelve He spent extra time with three men (James, Peter, and John).

From this we learn the value of small groups as a starting point in discipleship. We also see that there are some people that God calls us to invest in their spiritual growth with additional personal time and energy.

Jesus’ example of discipleship was similar to the concept of on the job training. He was there for His inner group in a variety of situations. Sometimes He directly taught them. At other times he let them serve and come back to report. At other times He let them observe how He “did ministry” as He related to others. Sometimes He questioned their thinking. At other times He encouraged them. His lifestyle was so profound in its impact on them that they asked Him to teach them how to pray. They wanted to grow spiritually because of what they saw in Him.

Bottom line: there are things people need to know about God and the Bible. This is usually attained through didactic teaching and study. There are other things that people need to know that are only discovered through relationship and service (the applying of our faith). Even Paul wrote most of his letters in two parts, orthodoxy and orthopraxy. Orthodoxy is the concepts of theology (Ephesians 1-3). Orthopraxy is the application or the living out of theology (Ephesians 4-6). Orthodoxy is the “what” and orthopraxy is the “so what.” We need both.

In our church we have Sunday worship which is speaking to the crowds. We have Adult Bible Fellowships which is smaller in its focus, but still speaking to the crowds (although smaller crowds). We have small groups that meet throughout the week (our version of the twelve meeting with Jesus). We also have a one-on-one discipleship ministry called Operation Timothy that we got from the Christian Businessmen’s Connection (CBMC).

I believe that the best results come from developing followers of Jesus who want to grow and are seeking to be obedient to Him. More energy needs to be put into sincere followers of Jesus. We put too much effort into disobedient Christians who may or may not be genuine followers of Christ.

~Pastor Chris

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How Do I Rid Myself Of Continuing Sin?

Dear Pastor,

If something that is not of God was happening in your life before you become born again and continues still after you get born again, what should I do to get rid of that thing? I’ve planted a seed , fasted,  and prayed in tears but its still there. 

~ Monyadiwa 
Dear Monyadiwa,

The key to ridding yourself of continuing sin is to keep your heart focused on Jesus. When you say that you are going to defeat a certain sin you are already in trouble. Why? Because you are trusting in yourself and you are thinking about the sin.

You cannot trust yourself. The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). Trust Jesus. Call upon Him. Ask Him for His strength to do right and to think right.

The Bible says in Colossians 3:1-2, “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

The battleground is your mind. Therefore, choose to set your mind on Christ. Do this and the power of sin will begin to fade and get weaker. Think of it like a muscle losing its strength when you stop using it.

~ Pastor Chris

 

 

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Why Doesn't God Draw All People To Him?

Pastor Chris,

People can’t save. Only God can. Why doesn’t He draw all of the people to Him? Doesn’t He love all of His creation? 

“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day.”

 John 6:44

~ Christina

Dear Christina,

As to your question,in his commentary on John’s Gospel, Leon Morris writes, “The thought of the divine initiative in salvation is one of the great doctrines of this Gospel…” (p.371). In other words, God chooses to pursue us. By choosing to pursue us God is saying that He wants to have a personal relationship with each of us. Think about how Jesus went from town to town speaking to crowds and talking with individuals. He was pursuing them. He told them the Good News that everyone who comes to Him will be given eternal life.

How do you know that God is pursuing you? Jesus said that when the Holy Spirit comes, “…He will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment” (John 16:8). Let’s pick one of those three convictions for just a moment. Let’s pick sin. Jesus says that the Holy Spirit convicts the world of sin. That means everyone. Everyone feels the conviction of the Holy Spirit. We call that feeling “guilt.” It happens when we break one of God’s laws.

Have you ever felt guilty? Yes…so have I. That feeling of guilt is the work of the Holy Spirit. When guilt happens it is a good thing because you know that God is working in your life. Why is He doing that? He does that because He wants us to see our need for Christ. You see, we cannot get rid of sin by ourselves. We need someone to get rid of it for us. That Someone is Christ. He is the only one who can take away our sin and make us right with God.

God pursues everyone. The problem is that some respond and some do not. Jesus said, “But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself” (John 12:32).

Remember, “God is love” (1 John 4:8, 16). The nature of love is that it must be expressed. It must be shared. God, who is love, wants to express His love and share it with His creation. John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Also, never forget that God desires everyone to be saved.

1 Timothy 2:3-4, 6, “This is good, and pleases God our Savior, 4 who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth… 6 who gave himself as a ransom for all men…”

2 Peter 3:9, “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

Hebrews 2:9, “But we see Jesus…now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone.”

-Pastor Chris

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Is Marriage O.K. with God?

Hello Pastor,

I am Asian and got married by my parents and my husband parents 4 years ago.  We did not get it done legally.  I have know my husband for 10 years and have been married to him for 4 years.  We now have a 2 year old together.  I am currently learning about God and my question is if my marriage is ok with God or am I commiting a sin? Please advise.

Sincerely,
Chi

Dear Chi,

Why not go ahead and have another wedding ceremony?  Your pastor will be happy to officiate I’m sure.  It can be done with only a few people present.

~ Pastor Chris

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I have a question about reconciliation with in-laws?

Pastor Chris,
   
I have a question about reconciliation.  My wife came from a home that she claims was spiritually, emotionally, and physically abusive.  Her parents, like us, profess Christ.  We actually have gotten along with them in the past even though these problems have always been near the surface.  But about a year and a half ago, my wife was meeting with one of our church elder’s wife (who is a counselor) about some difficulties she was having with her mom and establishing boundaries with her which concerned our children.  Our kids were telling us disturbing things that was occurring in their home (ie. the two older children were split up and forced to sleep with her parents who were sleeping apart from one another and they were fighting in front of our kids) The elder’s wife informed my wife about some things we didn’t know: her parents were going through severe marital problems and her father had a severe pornography addiction.  They were at that time under the care of the church.  The elder’s wife encouraged my wife to be protective over our children when it came to their home. 
 
Base on this, my wife and I implemented a policy that our 6, 5, and 2 year old children could not go to their home alone with this issue going on.  We told them that they could come to our house or we would accompany them at their house, but there would be no more over night stays and no alone time until we felt it was safe.  They then went to the senior pastor of our church to complain and elicited his help in undoing this boundary.  I tried to communicate with the senior pastor that there were a lot of issues here that he was not privileged to and that this is a sure land mine, but he got involved none the less and attempted to use his authority to undo our boundary.  My wife confessed shortly after this that she remembers her father abusing her sexually when she was a little girl. 
 
Eventually, this boundary became a totally broken relationship.  My wife tried to follow the Matthew 18 model and eventually confronted both of them both in a closed door meeting with the senior pastor, two other pastors and an elder.  But this confrontation did not heal the division and there was not any steps made on her parents part towards reconciliation.  They basically deny practically everything my wife confronted them on and they would like to argue perspectives which is not going anywhere.  The church is at a loss on how to fix this.  There is so much dysfunction in this relationship and so much I didn’t even share here.  We actually just left the denomination to escape this mess with her parents because they were insisting on church authority to be used against her.  They have a very strong patriarchal ideas.  And her dad works as the church’s financial officer.  I want to be a peace maker in this situation, but I am not sure how to do that or even if I should.       
 
~ Darren


Darren,

The Bible says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).  You have made good faith efforts to reconcile with your in-laws.  Some people will not reconcile.  Some people will work to have everything go their way regardless of what anyone else thinks or what the Bible says.  You must protect your wife and children.  You cannot knowingly put your children into harms way.  Keep the boundaries in place.

If you want more information about reconciliation get the book The Peacemaker by Ken Sande.  It is the best book I know of on the subject.

~ Pastor Chris

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Can I ever be a minister or deacon?

Pastor Chris,

When I was only 18 I had sex with my neighbor that was married. Her husband was out everynight with other woman. I feel terrible about this and wish I could take it out of my mind. Im in the military, now 23, and will be getting out soon. I want to go to school for bible, will this affect me if I ever wanted to be a minister or deacon?

~ F.F.

F.F.,

While we cannot ever justify sinful actions or attitudes, we can be forgiven of them.  Read 1 John 1:9.  When God forgives us He also cleans us up from our mess.  His grace is sufficient for this.  Remember, Paul was a murderer and David was an adulterer.  God forgave them and used them for His glory.  He will do the same for you.

You will remember your sin, however.  Allow that memory to be used of God to create a hedge of protection to hinder you from making the same mistake again. 

Do not let the devil tell you that you cannot be forgiven or be used by God.  The devil is a liar (John 8:44).  The devil will keep you bound to the past and ineffective in the Lord’s service if he can.  Do not let him do that.  Serve Jesus with your whole heart.

~ Pastor Chris

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Do you think it's wrong as a Christian to get tattoos?

Do you think it’s wrong as a Christian to get tattoos? Is it okay as long as they don’t shame the Lord?
Thank you so much.
~ Scarlette

Scarlette,

The issue of tattoos is answered in the Bible in Leviticus 19:28 where it says,

“You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor tattoo any marks on you: I am the LORD”(NKJV).

As Christians, our bodies belong to the Lord Jesus Christ.  1 Corinthians 6:19-20, NKJV says,“…do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

Christianity often comes into conflict with the culture around us.  We have to decide whether or not we will obey the Lord or go the way of the world.  The way of the world leads to barrenness and death.  The way of Christ leads to eternal life (John 14:6).  Jesus does not want to take the fun out of our lives.  He wants to fellowship with us and give us joy, fulfillment, purpose, and peace.

What if someone has already gotten a tattoo?  Should they feel awful about it forever?  NO!  Jesus stands ready to forgive (1 John 1:9).  Maybe the tattoo was done in ignorance or maybe it was done in an act of rebellion or maybe it was done to gain the approval of others.  It does not matter.  If you genuinely ask Jesus to forgive you, He will.  Then, if someone asks you about tattoos you can tell them how Jesus forgave you and that His forgiveness is available for them, too.

God bless you!
Pastor Chris

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Will a person that is saved, had accepted Jesus, go to hell or heaven if the take their own life?

Pastor Chris,
Will a person that is saved, had accepted Jesus, go to hell or heaven if the take their own life?

— Jimmy


Jimmy,
The question of suicide is painful because it hurts so many people. It is murder. Therefore God says not to do it (Exodus 20:13).

That being said, suicide is not the unpardonable sin (Mark 3:28-30). Therefore it can be forgiven.

It is possible for a Christian to be so discouraged, blue, and depressed that he can lose perspective and in a moment of weakness commit the sin of suicide. A true believer committing this sin will go to heaven but will not fulfill his purpose here on the earth and therefore foregoes many of the rewards in heaven that might have been his.

— Pastor Chris