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I'm Not Sure What My Wife Wants Anymore…

Question

Here is my situation. My wife had a hysterectomy almost two years ago. I think October is two years. Here lately she is telling me she doesn’t love me anymore. I am not what she wants anymore. She doesn’t want this life anymore. Says she doesn’t desire me sexually anymore but then there are days she does but says it means nothing. Says she is planning to leave me she has a lawyer. Is this normal? Anyone else relate to that? Just wish someone could tell me what is going on and that it will be okay and how long this will last. Also our finances are a wreck with student loans and credit card debt any financial assistance out there by chance? She is wanting a new house that I would love to provide but know we can’t afford.. I am praying and believing God for a miracle. Anyone care to stand with me? Any words of wisdom?
Scripture? Anyone hearing from God on this and have something from him to tell me? Sorry to dump all this on y’all but I need help.
Sending this out to lots of people and hoping for a lot of replies. Please understand if you do respond it may take me a few days to get back to you because I work six days a week.

Answer

Tim, let me urge you to speak with your pastor face-to-face. There are many complexities to your situation and you need someone to walk with you as you go through it. Be assured that God knows what is going on and that nothing is too hard for Him (Genesis 18:14). Keep seeking the Lord. He knows the way and will help you find it.

Your wife has had a lot of trauma to contend with concerning her surgery. Surgeries can wreck havoc on the emotions even after the physical healing is complete. Be patient with her, pray, and make an appointment to see your pastor together.

Pastor Chris

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Question About God's Forgiveness

Would God forgive being lost and sinning for more than 10 years particularly sins of pornography, masturbation and homosexual acts? If you ask for forgiveness and a change of heart? I admit being blinded from the truth which is the bible. It hurts deep inside how much I’ve committed abominations to him. I would just to spend the rest of my life fighting temptation, treating brothers and sisters, friends and family with respect and love…and especially come back to GOD and place trust in Jesus everyday and praying always

~ Jericho

Answer

Jericho,

God is not only willing to forgive all sin, He will clean us up too (1 John 1:9). The story Jesus told about the prodigal son is a picture of our Heavenly Father and His willingness to take us back (see Luke 15:11-24).

Do not wait! Hurry home to Jesus!

~ Pastor Chris

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Is It Right for a Pastor to Divorce His Wife?

Good day sir, pastor I thank you for this wonderful opportunity. Pastor my question is ‘is it right for a pastor to divorce his wife’.

~ Empress

Answer

Empress,

God has spoken clearly on the matter of divorce. He hates it (Malachi 2:16).

~ Pastor Chris

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Did God Leave Me?

Hello Pastor Chris,

How are you?

Before I ask my question I want to say I love Jesus with all my heart and nothing will ever change it.

It is hard for me to ask this, but here goes nothing!

My question is did God leave me or was he there with me when I was Molested for 3yrs? I’m not angry with him anymore. Which should have never been, but I want to know was he there?

I’m in the process of trying to get over this bad thing that was done to me when I was younger so that I can move forward with my life! Yesterday evening was like I finally felt at peace which I haven’t had in a very long time! I can say I have come a long way from where I once was by his grace and mercy!!! 🙂

If you don’t want to answer or do not know how I will understand!!!!

Thanks so much for your time!

~ Lashay

 

 ANSWER

Lashay,

My heart goes out to you! I hurt for you and at the same time I am sooo proud of you! You are allowing your suffering to take you to Jesus which is the very best thing to do. He understands pain better than anyone and He died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sin so that we can live with Him forever in a perfect place.

To directly answer your question, God did not leave you when you went through that unspeakably terrible time. He was right there with you and He suffered, too. The Bible says this about God, “If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there” (Psalm 139:8, NIV).

You will want to get Bringing Christ to Abused Women Minibook.
It is an inexpensive resource that has much help for overcoming sexual trauma.

Sincerely,
Pastor Chris

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Was Lillith Adam's first wife before Eve was created?

WHAT IS YOUR VIEW ON LILLITH FROM THE BIBLE AND DO YOU BELIEVE SHE WAS ADAMS FIRST WIFE BEFORE EVE WAS CREATED?

Answer

Daniel,

Daniel,

The Bible is clear that Adam’s only wife was Eve (Genesis 2:21-24). Any thought that Adam had a previous wife is unfounded. It has no biblical support.

The reference you cite regarding “Lilith” is in a single verse, Isaiah 34:14. Lilith comes from the Hebrew word lilit and is is variously translated as night creatures (NIV, NLT); screech owl (HCSB, Apologetics Study Bible, KJV); night monster (NAS); night hag (RSV); night-owl (YLT); night-monsters (LB); and night-demon Lilith (TM).

Eerdmans Dictionary of the Bible states that Lilith is, “A demon attested only in Isaiah 34:14, but whose Mesopotamian roots go back to the 3rd millennium B.C. The Babylonian Lilitu was a female spirit who could not bear children, but instead gave forth poison from her breasts by which she would seek to kill babies. She was also associated with stormy winds and is described as fleeing from a house through the window. Within medieval Jewish demonology (italics mine) Lilith is identified as the “first Eve” who was created from the earth along with Adam, but refused to accept a position subservient to him. She then fled from him and roams the earth looking for newborn infants to devour. Isaiah 34:14 describes Lilith as dwelling with the wildcats and hyenas among Edom’s ruins; the picture is thus one of complete desolation where only death and destruction reign.”

Easton’s Bible Dictionary states, “The Hebrew word is from a root signifying ‘night.’ Some species of the owl is obviously intended by this word. It may be the hooting or tawny owl (Syrnium aluco), which is common in Egypt and in many parts of Palestine. This verse in Isaiah is ‘descriptive of utter and perpetual desolation, of a land that should be full of ruins, and inhabited by the animals that usually make such ruins their abode.'”

Lilith is therefore a demon or some sort of animal. In either case Lilith would not be a wife.

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Is it ok for my husband to look at personal ads on craigslist?

Pastor Chris,

I have been married for 25 years my husband has committed adultery we have been able to work through it we do Pastor a church and trust God I recently discovered my husband is going on craigslist and he is in the personal add under women seeking men and casual relationship he seems to think this ok because he is just reading but because of his issue with being involved in several affairs i feel like he is wrong for being on this site to me he is cheating once again. please help is this ok according to the word of god.

Answer

Dear Sister Perkins,

It is NOT alright for your husband to be reading such material. Such activity violates Genesis 2:24 which teaches that a husband and wife have an exclusive relationship. By reading such material he is diverting emotional energy to a fantasy world. He is forsaking his God-given marital responsibility to care for your emotional needs. He is selfish and is playing with fire.

The husband/wife relationship is sacred. It was established by God and is an illustration of Christ’s love for the church (Ephesians 5:25-32). Christ loved the church sacrificially (agape). Husbands are to love their wives sacrificially, too.

Your husband needs an accountability group of men that he reports to every week. He has an addiction. People with addictions usually do not overcome their addictive behaviors alone.

A helpful book for both of you to read is Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series)
. I strongly encourage you to get a copy of this excellent book.

Pastor Chris

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Why is there a need for Jesus if you are a devout Jew without sin?

Pastor Chris,

Assuming one is a devout Jew—like Jesus, and is faithful to all Mitzvot in the Torah—i.e. the Five Books of Moses, thus is without sin. Contained in the Christians’ “Greek Old Testament,”
Why is there a need for the New Testament—expounding belief in a Messiah, who has yet to appear to protect us? Per Numbers 24;17 & Deuteronomy 18;18.

Answer

Simcha,

Jesus is the only person without sin. This is because Jesus does not have a human father. Jesus is the only person in all of eternity who is fully God and fully man (John 1:1-2; 14; Philippians 2:5-11; Colossians 1:15-18). Our sin nature is passed down to us from Adam through our fathers. Thus, we are sinners by nature and we sin by choice. “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

In John 8:46 Jesus asked His opponents, “Can any of you prove me guilty of sin?” Those who were against Him would certainly have pointed out sin in Jesus’ life if they could. They watched Jesus closely, looking for ways to discredit Him. They could not do it.

Being faithful to the Torah does not mean a person can say that they are sin free. A person who is faithful to the Torah must offer sacrifices for sin. The problem is that the sacrifices required in the Torah cannot take away sin. Hebrews 10:11 says, “Day after day every priest stands and performs his religious duties; again and again he offers the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins.”

The sacrifices required in the Torah prepared the way for the ultimate sacrifice that God’s Son would make when He died on the cross. Think of the Old Testament sacrificial system as a preview of what was to come.

When Jesus hung on the cross, God the Father accepted His sacrifice on our behalf as full payment for our sin. Jesus cried out from the cross, “It is finished!” (John 19:30); which means “it is paid in full.” Therefore, when we repent of our sins and place our trust in Jesus as our Redeemer we are forgiven and we gain eternal life (John 3:16-17; 5:24).

It has been said that the New Testament is the Old Testament revealed. In other words, the New Testament explains the Old Testament by telling us about Jesus the Messiah who fulfilled everything the Old Testament was pointing toward. Jesus said it this way, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them” (Matthew 5:17).

Pastor Chris

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Is it wrong for my boyfriend to live with another woman?

Recently I have been needing to ask a strong Christian for their opinion / ideas around a personal issue but have struck out so I thought I might ask the online experts.

My boyfriend and I live on residence at College (university) where we met last year. Next year we will be moving out, separately, with friends (we believe we should not live together before marriage).
However, he has decided to live with one of our mutual girl friends, to which I am not suspicious because I trust them both entirely. My issue comes from the notion that in the future, if / when we are husband and wife, I would not be able to forget that he had another woman fulfilling the duties that his wife should (because I know this girl and she is a very mothering/taking care of a home type) before I would get to.

Is there any credibility to my feeling this way at all and does the bible say anything much about how conservative we should be living before marriage?
For instance, I would never even consider moving out with a man prior to marriage, but nowadays, is it so wrong that he doesn’t think it wrong to live with another woman?

Thanks for your consideration and time,
Anything will help.

God bless,

Rebekah

Answer

Rebekah,

The Bible says that we are to “Abstain from all appearance of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:22, KJV). For your boyfriend to live in the situation you describe is to violate this verse. Observers would see their living arrangements and assume that intimacies were taking place outside of marriage even if they were in fact not happening. Our witness to outsiders is vital if we want to win them to Christ.

Pastor Chris

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How do I confront a Pastor about a message I strongly disagree with?

Our college pastor California said three things I disagree with and would like to get your perspective. These things are very important to me as the youth that hear his sermons i care for and want to make sure arent being mislead.

His statements…

1. if you skip a bible study, sunday church service or dont read your bible for a day then God doesnt hear your prayers that day.
the verse he used, -God detests the prayers of a person who IGNORES the LAW. (Proverbs 28:9 NLT)

2. God doesnt hear the prayers of a fallen away believer or a prayer for a fallen away believer.
-the verse he used, Then the Lord said to me, “Do not pray for these people “ANYMORE.” (Jeremiah 14:11 NLT)

3. God doesnt hear your prayers if you have a unconfessed sin of any kind
-the verse he used If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. (Psalms 66:18 NLT)
(all other versions use cherished or regard, literal translations is if i had seen lawlessness… which leads me to believe that if i have a sin im not willing to forsake or try to justify God doesnt hear my prayers i.e. some one i know going to church and not willing to give up smoking weed after 2+years of accepting Christ then God doesnt hear that person.

i would like to hear what you think about the matter and what i should do about it i have calmly and respectfully confronted him alone only to be shut down and him backing up his views with out other scripture other than the book of Nahum saying God is a God that needs to be feared and revered…

Answer

David,

Your next step is to take your concerns to the Senior Pastor of your church.

God gives responsibility to pastors to shepherd His people which includes caring for them, feeding them, and protecting them. Acts 20:28-31, NIV, “Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood. 29 I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. 30 Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. 31 So be on your guard!”

Ephesians 4:11-16 is also an important passage in regard to your concerns. It states additional responsibilities of pastors. “It was he (God) who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12 to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. 14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”

Pastor Chris

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Should I date a bisexual atheist?

HI cHRIS,

i AM A 14 YEAR-OLD CHRISTIAN, AND I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS NEW GIRL DURING THE SCHOOL YEAR. i FOUND OUT SHE WAS DATING ANOTHER BOY, WHICH SHE LATER TOLD ME DIDN’T WORK OUT. tHEN a LITTLE LATER I FIND OUT SHE’S GAY, WHICH MAKES HER BISEXUAL. SHE’S ALSO AN ATHEIST. i LOVE HER VERY MUCH BECAUSE SHE’S ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE THAT UNDERSTANDS ME AND MY PERSONALITY, BUT i DON’T WANT THAT TO AFFECT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Answer

Sam,

It is not wise to date someone who does not share your faith or your values. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NAS), “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?” Your first priority in life is always your relationship with God. “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole [duty] of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:13, NIV).

I recommend the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye. It will give you a much needed perspective for Christians in today’s culture.

Pastor Chris