Tag: decisions

Posted on

Is it wrong to leave home?

Question

 

Pastor Chris,

I am 18 and want to know if it wrong to leave home to get away from conflict my mom told me if i leave home a curse will follow me i must stay home until marriage is it true?

~ Delicia

 

Answer

 

Delicia, 

There are cultural expectations that are different all around the world. Some cultures release their children to leave home earlier than others. There may be a cultural element to your mother’s feelings.

That being said, it is the natural order of things for children to grow up, mature, and provide for themselves. A parent’s job is to prepare their children for this. The Bible says it this way, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6, NIV). The parents are to train their children and the children are to listen to their parents and learn from them.

My questions to you are these: Have you learned how to make responsible decisions? Can you provide for yourself? Will you be safe in the place you want to live? Are you easily influenced by others? Do you want to leave simply because you are angry with your parents? Do you want to leave because you feel pressure from friends to do so? If your answer to any of these questions is “No” then I would urge you to wait. The Bible says, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty” (Proverbs 21:5, NIV). You will do well to approach this problem with care and patience. A quick decision without planning could cause trouble for you.

Keep your relationship with your parents vibrant and healthy. Discuss this situation with them. Come to them humbly, seeking their wisdom. Ask them to explain the reasons for their advice. Work with them to find a solution that is agreeable to them and to you. Remember, your parents love you and want the best for you.

~ Pastor Chris

Posted on

Am I old enough to make my own decisions?

Question

Pastor Chris, 

Hello I have a question you see I’m 18 and I have an issue and I need help and advice I don’t know what to do you see I’m 18 and I still live with my parents and well my issue is I want to make my own decisions I don’t want to ask my parents for permission I feel I’m old enough to make my own decisions.

~ Briggit

 

Answer

Briggitt,

As long as you live under your parents roof you are to live under their direction. This is difficult for them as well as difficult for you. They have to learn to balance your maturity with their responsibility to care for you and protect you.

Parents have to learn to let go. I am a parent myself and it is not easy, not because you want to control your children but because you love them and desire to protect them. A parent has life experience that can save a young adult son or daughter a lot of problems if he or she will listen and learn from that parent. A parent has to pave the way for a son or a daughter to walk toward adulthood. Part of that task is to allow them to gradually make more and more consequential choices. The Bible says, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6, NIV).

I exhort you to be patient with your parents, listen to them, learn from them, and then get ready move out and provide for yourself. This is the natural way of life. Until then you are to be subject to them. Even Jesus subjected Himself to His earthly parents and He was the Son of God (Luke 2:51-52).

~ Pastor Chris