Broken Marriage Vows

Pastor Chris,

I have broken my marriage vows. I have seduced a younger man who is single. I love my husband and our children but do not know if I want to stay married. I have contacted a lawyer. Do you have any advice for me?

– Jane Doe

ANSWER

Dear Jane,
You are on a dark, destructive path. The following points are given to you in no particular order.

• Count the cost (Luke 14:25-35). Whatever decision you make has an impact on many people, including your children. That impact will last a long, long time.
• Ask yourself: What would Jesus do?
• Read Psalm 51 multiple times. Let its words wash over you. King David wrote this after his adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband was exposed.
• Read John 8:1-11. Pay special attention to verse 11. You can stop sinning if you choose to do so.
• Review 1 John 1:9.
• Think about what your actions are doing to the man who is not your husband (Proverbs 6:32; 7:21-27).
• You cannot continue in sin and be happy. Happiness is a by-product of a right relationship with Jesus. You can choose to be happy in Jesus. Read Matthew 5:3-12 putting the word “happy” in place of “blessed.” (The Greek word can be translated both ways.)
• Sin blinds, binds, and then grinds. That is what happened to Samson (Judges 13-16).
• Remember, this life is less than a millisecond when you compare it to eternity. Abundant life is found in Jesus alone, not other people (John 10:10).
• The devil is your enemy. He is a liar and a deceiver (John 8:44). You can be sure that the devil is lying to you and has deceived you. That is what the devil does. The devil offers cheap thrills. R.G. Lee said in his memorable sermon Payday Someday, “The devil will give you corn and then choke you with the cob. The devil’s pearls are paste pearls.”
• Put on spiritual armor (Ephesians 6:10-18).
• It is always best to return to the Lord (Joel 2:13; Zechariah 1:3).

May your heart be filled and renewed with the love of Christ!

Sincerely,
Pastor Chris

I'm Not Sure What My Wife Wants Anymore…

Question

Here is my situation. My wife had a hysterectomy almost two years ago. I think October is two years. Here lately she is telling me she doesn’t love me anymore. I am not what she wants anymore. She doesn’t want this life anymore. Says she doesn’t desire me sexually anymore but then there are days she does but says it means nothing. Says she is planning to leave me she has a lawyer. Is this normal? Anyone else relate to that? Just wish someone could tell me what is going on and that it will be okay and how long this will last. Also our finances are a wreck with student loans and credit card debt any financial assistance out there by chance? She is wanting a new house that I would love to provide but know we can’t afford.. I am praying and believing God for a miracle. Anyone care to stand with me? Any words of wisdom?
Scripture? Anyone hearing from God on this and have something from him to tell me? Sorry to dump all this on y’all but I need help.
Sending this out to lots of people and hoping for a lot of replies. Please understand if you do respond it may take me a few days to get back to you because I work six days a week.

Answer

Tim, let me urge you to speak with your pastor face-to-face. There are many complexities to your situation and you need someone to walk with you as you go through it. Be assured that God knows what is going on and that nothing is too hard for Him (Genesis 18:14). Keep seeking the Lord. He knows the way and will help you find it.

Your wife has had a lot of trauma to contend with concerning her surgery. Surgeries can wreck havoc on the emotions even after the physical healing is complete. Be patient with her, pray, and make an appointment to see your pastor together.

Pastor Chris

Is It Right for a Pastor to Divorce His Wife?

Good day sir, pastor I thank you for this wonderful opportunity. Pastor my question is ‘is it right for a pastor to divorce his wife’.

~ Empress

Answer

Empress,

God has spoken clearly on the matter of divorce. He hates it (Malachi 2:16).

~ Pastor Chris

I married a man who is already married. Is this right?

I married a man who was already married. I have been living as his wife. What does the bible say about this and is it right?

 

ANSWER

 

Natta,

 

The biblical plan is one man and one woman united in marriage for life. God initiated this when He placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. God did not create Adam and then give him multiple wives (Genesis 2:18-25). God created Adam and then gave him one woman to be his wife.

 

You were married under false pretenses and are therefore free to have the marriage legally annulled. You have not sinned. You married him in good faith. You can leave this false marriage with a clean conscience. Please consult a Christian attorney to work with you to settle the legal aspects of your situation.

 

~ Pastor Chris