Tag: marriage

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Is there anything wrong with marrying older than yourself?

QUESTION

Pastor Chris,


Is it wrong to marry a lady who is a year older than me? She is my female best friend ever since I was a teenager. A pastor once said, “Marry your best friend.” She inspires me and motivates and we also are pursuing the same goals.

~ Daniel Okpu

ANSWER

Dear Daniel,

Your pastor has given you some sound advice. From what you describe, God has blessed you with a wonderful lady. The age difference of one year is not an issue.

~ Pastor Chris

Recommended book about marriage: The First Years of Forever by Ed Wheat

Posted on

Is it ok to get a marriage license at a later date?

QUESTION

Hello Pastor Chris,

My fiancé and I were wanting to get married now and get a marriage
license at a later date. We want to honor God in Holy matrimony but we
are not sure if He would bless our marriage if we did it this way.
Please let us know what the Bible says.
Thank you and God bless!

~Richard

ANSWER

Richard,

There is a secular aspect to marriage and a spiritual aspect to marriage. The secular aspect of marriage has to do with the laws of the state. In Texas, counties issue marriage licenses which make it legal for a minister to officiate a wedding. In other words, the state accepts what a minister does as legally binding for secular purposes. In the eyes of the law, therefore, a marriage license is a type of contract. This is one place where church and state cooperate.

Concerning religious obligations and secular obligations, Jesus said: “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s” (Matthew 22:21, NIV). Jesus was talking about paying taxes in this verse, but the principle holds true for other applications. A follower of Christ is expected to obey the secular laws of the land (Romans 13:1-2). The exception to this principle is when a secular law comes in conflict with God’s law. In that instance a believer obeys God rather than man (Daniel 3:13-18; Acts 4:18-20).

The spiritual aspect of marriage has to do with two key things: 1. the fact that God Himself brought Adam and Eve together (Genesis 2:18-25); and, 2. the fact that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:22-33). Spiritually speaking, in a Christian wedding we are remembering that marriage is given to us by God and that marriage is to be lived out in the same way as Christ loves the church, with sacrificial love.

You write: “We want to honor God in holy matrimony.” You will do that in the best way by getting a marriage license to show that you are obedient to the laws of the state (as God expects you to do); and, by having a Christian wedding ceremony that points those in attendance to the God who established marriage and the home. This will show others that you are followers of Christ and will encourage them to follow Him, too.

Sincerely,
Pastor Chris

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I married a man who is already married. Is this right?

I married a man who was already married. I have been living as his wife. What does the bible say about this and is it right?

 

ANSWER

 

Natta,

 

The biblical plan is one man and one woman united in marriage for life. God initiated this when He placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. God did not create Adam and then give him multiple wives (Genesis 2:18-25). God created Adam and then gave him one woman to be his wife.

 

You were married under false pretenses and are therefore free to have the marriage legally annulled. You have not sinned. You married him in good faith. You can leave this false marriage with a clean conscience. Please consult a Christian attorney to work with you to settle the legal aspects of your situation.

 

~ Pastor Chris

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Can you get married without a marriage license?

Pastor Chris,

 

Can a man and a women be married in the eyes of god without a marriage license?

 

~ Tracy

 

ANSWER

 

Tracy,

 

Yes, if you live on a deserted island!

 

The Bible exhorts Christians to be subject to the governing authorities (Romans 13:1-7). Jesus said, “give to Caesar what is Caesar’s” (Luke 20:25). The government requires a marriage license for a man and a woman to be wed. If a man and a woman choose to live together the government still gets involved by declaring that they are married by common law even though they did not have a ceremony or a certificate. You cannot escape the government or God on this issue. “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God” (Romans 13:1, NIV).

 

I believe that a marriage ceremony and a license are good things. They are public matters. Jesus Himself attended a wedding, thus endorsing the marriage ceremony. A marriage ceremony complete with a license shows respect for God, for government, and for society. Christian marriage seeks the blessing of all three on their union. Why would a couple not desire this?

 

Frankly, a license for marriage helps to maintain an orderly society. When people do whatever they think is right in their own eyes bad things happen (Judges 17:6; Isaiah 5:21). Our culture has a hard time with commitment. A marriage ceremony and a marriage license elevate the importance of commitment to the family. Without stable families led by a man and wife that are committed to each other, society crumbles.

 

For a more detailed examination of your question see Seven Reasons Why God Created Marriage by James Ford, Jr. and Why Marriage Matters: Reasons to Believe in Marriage in a Postmodern Society by Glenn T. Stanton.

 

~ Pastor Chris

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What does Genesis 3:16 mean when it says your desire will be for your husband?

Pastor Chris,

I was reading in genesis about the fall of man. I came across a verse I never noticed before and do not quite understand. I was wondering if you could offer some insight into the meaning of this verse. In genesis3:16, the bible says, “and god said to the woman, ‘your desire will be for you husband but he shall rule over you.'”

I Am very confused as to what this verse is saying about e husbanD/wife relationship.

~ Leanna 

 

ANSWER

Leeanna,

 

You have asked a significant question. I commend you for searching the Scriptures thoughtfully, prayerfully, and diligently.

 

God has perfect relationships within the Trinity. There is perfect communion between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. When God put Adam and Eve in the garden they had perfect relationships, too. They had perfect communion with each other and with God.

 

Genesis 3:16 comes after Adam and Eve sinned. When they sinned they broke fellowship with God and with each other. Relationships were fractured.

 

Sin carries consequences. Genesis 3:16 speaks to some of the consequences of Adam and Eve’s sin.

 

It is interesting to read how different versions of the Bible translate this verse.

 

And you will desire to control your husband,

but he will rule over you. NLT

 

You’ll want to please your husband,

but he’ll lord it over you. THE MESSAGE

 

Your desire will be for your husband,

yet he will dominate you. HCSB

 

you shall welcome your husband’s affections,

and he shall be your master. TLB

 

Your desire will be for your husband,

and he will rule over you.” NIV

 

When a husband is acting out of his flesh (sin nature) he can become unreasonable and demanding. When a wife is acting out of her flesh she can become controlling (NLT) and can put her husband before God (your desire will be for your husband).

 

In all of life the first priority is God Himself. When that priority is in place we live better, we treat each other better, and we know God’s perfect peace. The Bible says, “live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature”

(Galatians 5:16, NIV).

 

Some good books on the roles and responsibilities of husbands and wives in marriage from a biblical perspective are:

 

Strike the Original Match by Charles R. Swindoll

 

Different by Design by John MacArthur, Jr.

 

Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs

 

His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.

 

The 5 Love Languages by Gary D. Chapman

 

God bless you!

~ Pastor Chris